Jul
9
Suck Ass Movie Report: Andy Warhol’s Dracula (aka Blood for Dracula)
Category: Movies |
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This Dracula film is probably unlike any you have ever seen – but in a bad, hurting kind of way rather than a new, interesting way. Every bit of this sad excuse for a vampire romp screams the filmmaker’s deficiency…a bad story, even worse dialog, and a sick objectification of the human body.
Jan
10
In the mindless-Rambo-shoot-em-up tradition, we present the (thankfully) obscure War Bus Commando.
Poor acting, bad direction and utterly unrealistic plot contrivances are all that this film is made of, and it’s very release onto video proves that the people behind this mess have absolutely no shame whatsoever.
Jan
7
Made in the early seventies, amid the fear of nuclear war, pollution, and man-made environmental catastrophes comes The Hellstrom Chronicle, a bizarre pseudo-documentary about insects and how they will take over the Earth. A more appropriate title for this preachy tripe is “Insects Beating the Crap Out Of Each Other”, because nine-tenths of this film is footage of insects fighting and eating each other.
Oddly enough, it won the Academy Award for Best Documentary. Apparently, George C. Scott was right: The Academy was always screwed up.
Jan
6
Suck Ass Movie Report: Zardoz
Category: Movies |
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What do you get when you mix a giant stone head, a lot of firearms, utopia, barbarians (featuring Sean Connery wearing orange diapers and an ammunition bandoleer) and a lot of topless pretty women?
Zardoz, that’s what!
An early seventies sci-fi snoozer that seems to have a lot to say about contemporary society, but falls flat when it decides to appeal to the stereotypical weirdness of seventies cinema instead of telling its story.
